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What our kids hear

Video: 

My husband showed me this video this week. I wanted to share it with all of you because I think it will make every parent smile! The video description says, "Some stories get better with time. Especially when it's kids that are passing the story along. Take a look at the actual events of this true story (as told from the memory of young ones)." 

Isn't that just kids for you? A lot of the time they are really just trying to fit in with the adults and understand their surroundings. And after watching this video, it makes you wonder why kids choose to remember the details that they do!

Do you have any stories about what your child decided to remember?

Grape Jelly Tastes Like Poverty - Memory Based Foods I Can't Overcome

Here's the scenario: 6 kids, 9 years apart, youngest baby with a heart defect, single mom.  Were we poor?  Oh, you bet your bottom dollar we were.  But let me set one thing straight right away: we were happy.  My mom worked her tail off and did the best she could under her circumstances.  She was an awesome mom.

Growing up poor never leaves you, no matter how old, wise, wealthy, or fancy you get.  Not that I'm any of those things just yet.  But I still feel the residuals of being the kid who went to thrift stores or got hand-me-downs from neighbors for new school clothes.  I still hate the thought of that blue duct-taped bike with the banana seat that mom said was my "new" bike. It's hard for me to spend money on things even now - things that seem like "fluff", that I won't die without.  The biggest thing that stays with me is the food.

Uncle Dean had a big farm and would bring over 250 lbs. of potatoes in the fall.  Mom put them in the cellar, whose door was an 18" square by the stairs.  When Mom needed potatoes, whoever was closest to her had the horrid task of reaching their arm as far as they could into that little opening and grab a few tubers from the chilly darkness within.  Although we never saw nor heard any evidence of one, we were sure a giant rat would bite our fingers in that black hole.  Or maybe a black widow. 

All winter long, we ate baked potatoes, potatoe soup, french fries, 'taters and eggs, mashed potatoes...  I could go on like Bubba Gump.  Suffice it to say, we ate a lot of potatoes.  For a little while, my older brother worked at the local meat packing plant and would bring home the ends  of the ham or bacon that were too small for slicing.  We ate like kings on those nights!  Potatoe soup with HAM!  When I'm feeling really homesick, I make myself up a batch of potatoe soup with ham and peas.

Government Warns Against Shoes

The Department of American Foot Transportation (DAFT) is planning to issue a warning in the near future regarding the danger of footwear, specifically shoes.

"We have seen countless accidents, both minor and serious, and even deaths occur while people are wearing shoes," said Gloria Fitzfootster of DAFT.  The government agency feels it necessary to invade and intrude into every possible sector of traditional American lifestyles, stating that "intervention is the best invention".

Urgent action and panic should be taken by all US citizens regarding the safety hazard of shoes and shoe wearing.

- - - - - - -

 

In no way do I want to undermine the injuries/deaths that have occured over the last decade because of certain types of baby carriers.   But I am also furious with the idea that the government feels the need to step in, instead of the companies themselves doing their own regulating, checking, and improving. 

I'm also upset at the unneccessary fear this is going to cause.  Is your baby going to suddenly and spontaneously fall from her baby carrier and get seriously injured?  Most likely not.  There have been injuries resulting from everything from high chairs to cribs to bouncer seats.  And you're still using those, right?  With any product, baby related or not, there are inherint risks.  The important thing is for you, the parent, to be informed, active, and secure.

Toasters: The Final Frontier

Why is the toaster forgotten?  In a world where blenders can turn golf balls to powder, where ovens can cook a whole turkey in under an hour, where microwaves have as many functions as iPhones - the toaster stands forgotten.

We recently spent a lovely week in San Diego and were graciously hosted by some family in their very fancy house.  The kitchen was a dream!  Perfectly organized, a humongous fridge, top-of-the-line stainless steel EVERYTHING!  Then good old Uncle pulled out the toaster.  I'm guessing the thing was circa late 1980's.  Today's modern bread was too tall and stuck out of the top.  It looked like it had been through the war.  Bagels?  Ha!  Forget about it.  Poor little toaster.

A little while back, my in-laws redecorated their kitchen.  Well, redecorated is an understatement.  They gutted the kitchen - ripped out everything and started from scratch.  It was once a 1950's country themed, blue and white tile up the wazoo mess. Now it's a sleek, comforting, masterpiece.  I want to give the walnut floors a big hug every time I go in there.  The lighting is gorgeous.  The appliances are fantastic.  Except that toaster.  I'm not even going to take a stab at the age.  The fact that the cord was wrapped in raveling thread should be indication enough that this thing was ancient.   I'm surprised you didn't have to place it near an open fire and turn it with your foot.

I'm No Good at Acronyms or INGA

WITW?  IDRA, DTMIO?

Translation:  What in the world?  I don't read acronyms, does that mean I'm old?  Part of my job here at HugaMonkey is to be active in forums and "get in touch with the common (wo)man", to take a page from Obama's book.   I cruise sites like Baby Center and see what the peeps are all abuzz about.  And I must confess, it's not easy.

Maybe it's because I've never texted.  Oh, yeah, you read that right.  I don't text.  And I survive just fine, thank you.  Oh, I've got the basics down by now.  BRB, lol, etc.  But some of them are more confusing to a newbie like me.  It took me ages to figure out DCP (day car providor), and people use BC for either birth control, before children, or because.  Now that could be confusing.  Here are some of my favorites:

BFN big fat negative (pregnancy test)

BM either breast milk OR bowel movement.  Maybe you're just better off typing out the whole word, IMHO (in my honest/humble opinion)

BD  baby dance (sex)

GB  get busy (sex)

DTB   down to business (sex)

DTD  do the deed (sex) - it's funny that the acronym is just as long as the word, and takes more syllables to say.

CWIM  see what I mean

POAS  pee on a stick (take a pregnancy test)

 

This is clearly a very small list.  Some sites have translators that have hundreds of acronyms and abbreviations,  I mean, A&A's.  So, as I usually do when something is weirding me out, I wrote a poem.

 

Mom, Abbreviated.

While changing my DS today (I don't know how you could CD)

My MS made me CIO and go totally OT.

So DH and DD came TMR with some IC

IMHO they are the best, TWI, OMG.

PG sometimes is NTB, but it's seriously NP

I love being a SAHM, I LOL constantly

IRL it's NBD to just RWTP

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