Dinner Time, Quality Time - Family Bonding

Finding the time for fun, quality time with our families is becoming more of a challenge every day! From piano lessons, soccer practice, karate class and play dates, to weekend errands and office work at home, time is something we all seem to be short of!

Dinner time is often overlooked as beneficial quality time. We tend to think of dinner as an end of the day necessity to rush through before checking homework, brushing teeth and reading stories before bed. Families are looking to carve out ways to get in some relaxing time with kids and spouses and don’t realize that one of the most perfect times to visit and catch up with one another is already a scheduled time of day-Dinner time!

The benefits of sitting together as a family for dinner are many. Toddlers and younger aged kids feel the rewards of family dinners by being part of a group in close quarters. Passing items of food, taking turns talking and sharing comments are ways that children feel a sense of belonging. Young kids learn a sense of good nutritional habits, literacy development and communication skills. Older kids and teens learn tolerance and compassion for family members. The time teens spend with family members in a positive environment such as dinner time greatly reduces the factor for adolescent tobacco, drug and alcohol use. Other benefits for adolescents include better grades, higher self esteem, reduced risk of dangerous friendships and relationships; they are more likely to be more motivated, they are more likely to say that their parents are proud of them and can open up and discuss important matters with their parents.

I was so inspired when doing this article and researching the facts. I have kids from ages 3 to 16 and often find it challenging to keep them entertained at dinner. There are times when it seems like there are two separate dinners going on, one with me and the toddlers and another with the 3 older kids. It is not easy to find activities that include everyone, but we really try to spend 15 minutes at the table to let each child have a turn to talk about their day. This is my favorite and easiest dinner activity. We call it Favorite Time. Someone begins by telling the rest of the family about their favorite part of their day, with details and why. It has to be explained so that the youngest sibling understands the details. When this person is finished, we get to ask any questions about the activity. No one else can talk when it isn’t their turn. Everyone has to continue eating while they listen. While I can’t say that everyone LOVES this activity, not one of them complains about it and often remembers more details about their Favorite time when it is someone else's turn. If this happens, then of course we let him or her add on.

Before the meal is finished, I remind each of the kids of their chores or homework that needs to be done and how much time is left before bedtime. We then remember to acknowledge those who helped prepare the meal and thank them for their help. Sometimes if I remember, I have the kids give me their food rating on a scale of 1 to 10 to see who enjoyed the meal. Each person is responsible for taking their own dishes to the sink and scraping any leftovers into the trash before they leave the kitchen.

Dinner time can seem overwhelming, but try to make it enjoyable for yourself as well as the kids. You will find this time at the end of the day to become one of your whole families’ favorite and most rewarding ways to share each other’s company.